Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching so if you have a sweetie in your life you better be prepared. Don’t think about practical items for the home or yard unless you were specifically asked to buy them. Be thoughtful and caring, not selfish and entitled.
For some Valentine’s Day isn’t so great, in fact, it sucks. As my daughters would say Valentine’s Day is actually Single’s Awareness Day. Candle lit restaurants are filled with lovers gazing into each others eyes exchanging heart filled cards. They reach across the table, hold hands, whisper hidden words to each other and exchange smiles. It’s enough to make a single person throw up in their mouth. Get a room sickos!
If you too are in the forever alone club, take heart, some of your heroes are as well. Here are some of my favorite covers that show messed up relationships.
Daredevil Vol. 1 #255 – During a kiss Typhoid Mary tries to stab him in the back with a massive blade. Her eyes are open that is your first clue, Daredevil.
Harley Quinn vol. 2 #28 – Harley giving flowers and candy to someone then blowing them up. Sometimes when two people get together love is explosive, and not in a good way.
Superman Vol. 1 #261 – Well this is embarrassing, the world gets to see you grovel in front of a Star Sapphire, your master. Kiss that boot, make it shine.
Totally Awesome Hulk Vol. 1 #4 – Remember that time when you thought you were going to kiss and it didn’t happen? Sorry Totally Awesome Hulk you’re not THAT awesome. She-Hulk for the win! (Barf)
Flash Vol. 1 #280 – You’re dating HIM. Are you blind? That guy is totally a creeper. “Buzz off, Flash, I’m doing just fine.” Why don’t women like nice guys?
Action Comics Vol. 1 #593 – We’ve all seen Superman act like a jerk to Lois and Jimmy in the 60’s era comics but this is too much. Kissing Barda with Mister Miracle in the same room. “It was mind control Mister Miracle, yeah, that’s it. Mind control!”
Batman Vol. 2 #39 Jill Thompson Variant– Maybe that secret crush you have isn’t entirely secret. Harley has added some lipstick to her Batman pillow’s face when Joker walks in. “Oh, this isn’t my Joker pillow”
Old Man Logan Vol. 2 #31 – Relationships don’t always make sense but when she’s gorgeous and you’re an old man (with no money) something might be off. Keep telling yourself that you’ve still got mojo. Can you smell the steel from her hunting knife yet?
Amazing Spiderman vol. 2 #14 – This my friend is a universal truth if the eyes are open when you kiss something is terribly wrong. Either you’re dating a freak or you just received a surprise kiss from someone you don’t care about. Welcome to awkward Spidey!
Batman Adventures Vol. 2 #3 – There is that girl or guy that likes you and then you start liking them and suddenly you’re repulsive to them. We all want what we can’t have Joker. Keep your lips to yourself before I break out my hammer.
Happy Single’s Awareness Day,