If we are to believe the hype, Lois Lane and Clark Kent have a love affair that transcends any barrier, overcomes any obstacle, and always brings them together. But honestly, that’s a load of crap! Their love affair over the years has been more like an amalgamation of a convoluted soap opera and an episode of Sister Wives. (Why are we so interested in a long-haired dude named Cody who has four wives and 18 kids?) Either Lois or Clark has an addiction issue with Bride magazine, the honeymoon trip, good wedding cake or that perfect wedding dress. Say “yes” to the dress Lois. I told myself that I wouldn’t cry! Here is their marriage history in it’s warped and deranged glory. (All links go to Comics Price Guide so that you can check out the covers and prices)
Action Comics #143 (April 1950) – Superman married Nikki LaRue while an extremely sassy Lois watched
Action Comics #206 (July 1955) – Superman married Lois Lane
Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen #21 (June 1957) – Jimmy married Lois while Superman acts as the flower girl.
Superman #120 (March 1958) – Superman married Joyce White, while Lois watched. Joyce White was actually a robot who gets “killed”.
Action Comics #289 (June 1962) – Superman married Luma Lynai (who looks exactly like his cousin Supergirl) Strike up the banjos, we’ve got kissing cousins.
Lois Lane #68 (October 1966) – Lois married Superman
Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen #98 (December 1966) – Jimmy married female King Kong with Superman’s blessing
Superman #192 (January 1967) – Clark Kent married Lois, they have a bratty kid.
Lois Lane #79 (November 1967) – Lois married Titanman while Superman punked on her
Lois Lane #86 (September 1968) – Lois Lane married Clark Kent and in a separate ceremony married Superman and finally the Devil.
Lois Lane #89 (January 1969) – Lois married Bruce Wayne, Superman calls him “lucky”. Not sure why since he’s already married her several times.
Lois Lane #90 (February 1969) – Lois married Darh-Nel of Krypton, Superman whined about lost opportunity.
Lois Lane #103 (August 1970) – Lois married the Devil…again.
Lois Lane #105 (October 1970) – Lois married a death row inmate moments before he goes to the electric chair. Just guessing that the rubber boots and rubber gloves you gave as a wedding gift will be returned.
Lois Lane #108 (February 1971) – Lois and Superman’s wedding interrupted by a ghost
Lois Lane #128 (December 1972) – Lois married Superman and he accidentally killed her on the honeymoon. There are physical implications about Superman and Lois on their wedding night but I’m just going to walk away.
Superman Family #177 (July 1976) – Superman married Lana Lane while at the same time Clark Kent married Lois. Welcome to Sister Wives superhero edition.
Superman Family #181 (January 1977) – Lois Lane married Superman who grew a hunchback and started turning into a gnome. You think I’m making this garbage up, but I’m not.
Action Comics #484 (June 1978) – Superman married Lois Lane but forgot that he was Superman. I guess some marriages make you forget who you really are.
Action Comics #512 (October 1980) – Superman stole Lex Luthor’s wife, Angela Blake, while she was still in her wedding dress. This is one of Superman’s biggest gangsta moves of all-time.
Action Comics #567 (May 1985) – Some other woman tried to stop Superman’s wedding with Lois
Action Comics #593 (October 1987) – Superman took a wife, it’s just not his wife, it’s Mr. Miracle’s wife, Big Barda. What are you going to do about it Mr. Scott Free, escape?
Superman the man of Steel #6 (December 1991) – Superman married the tribal chief’s daughter.
Superman: The Wedding Album #1 (December 1996) – Lois married Superman
Action Comics #836 (April 2006) – Superman carrying his bride, Lois…again. As an interesting side note this “love story” will end in the destruction of their planet. But her wedding dress is to die for.
Superman/Wonder Woman series (2013-16) – Lois who?
The Official Tally
Superman has been married 18 times and stole someone else’s wife twice.
Lois has been married 20 times. Although the two marriages to the Prince of Darkness seem like they should be on a different plane of existence. So I’m going to call it a tie at 18 marriages each.
Jimmy has been married 1 time to a human and once to a female ape. Poor Jimmy.
– Ron C.